The City is Mine

Today was a great day. What you need to state that is only a single good minute in 24 hours, sometimes less than that. I read at least a couple of times my old masterpiece today. I was unbelievably wise back then. It was ten years ago, and still, it sounded so much wiser than last-week-me. I wonder why I lose grip at times. The essential thing is though, that I re-internalised the full concept and today of all days I could feel like that again. After ten years, my life felt just as promising and warm as it was during my Exchange Programme. I would have never expected it.

I realised tonight that there is one fundamental person’s love I have been overlooking all along: the city’s. I have run from her for so long I just forgot. And there she was: open armed, smiling down at me, baring herself in front of me just because she wanted to. And I embraced her. I’ve been scared, terrified, I thought she was out there to get me, behind every corner, down every alley. What I found tonight is love. She gives always and every way she can, she keeps me safe, she provides for me. Se offers me places to live, means to succeed, memories to be carved in stone. Every mile entails a secret, a parenthesis of life only she and I know about. I look at windows that remind me of love, and she knows; I listen to sounds that remind me of tears and she softens them for me. She gives herself so completely just for me to enjoy and relish pure life. I felt like htat in Rome once, when she gave me this incredible chance to look up at her from upside down.

You tend to live a city parallel to her sidewalks, if you don’t know any better. You smell, hear and touch only level zero, but her secret beauty is not what your eyes look down to while passing by. It’s in the remote corners of an internal yard, under the pavement of an old church, in the tiles of 1920’s roofs.

She grants you a key to unlock her concealed treasures. It’s been in front of me for years but I just kept kicking it away. Tonight I finally picked it up. It opens all the doors of the city, cellar doors, street doors, bedroom doors. It’s the passe-par-tout to the hearts of all her citizens and she gave it to me. The only condition is you get the key only if you give yours to her.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go and never come back. She is a part of me just as much as I’m a part of her. We’ll never part, wherever I will be.