I was reading a post where a girl or woman was complaining about the difficulties of founding a serious or long-term relationship in our infamous city. It looks like every guy has some kind of impediment to starting a healthy relationship: he is either already engaged, or scared by commitment, or disappears out of no reason after a few dates and so on.

I wouldn’t know. Technically, I’ve been dating or available for a few months only and haven’t had that many experiences. I assume from a general perspective this could well be true and not one of those cases where the girl unconsciously pushes all the guys away – as I do.

But I was wondering… This is in the end a pretty traditional city. It may be a little more open-minded than most, but our culture as a state in general is rather tradition-bound. Tradition and culture here say that if you are a girl you are supposed to be courted. You should let the men do all the work, let them grovel so (and that’s my personal view) they feel much more valuable and valiant because they won the tournament: they won the girl.

In all that, you are supposed to never show any interest. Rise above it and leave them aching. You are supposed to play a game where if they want to get in your pants, they have to sweat it. Yet again, what matters is your virtue.

This is as fine a game as any. I understand its meaning and some of the benefits, although… I also supposed it is strictly connected to a rather chauvinist approach. To men, what it looks like is that the woman has no say in the whole process, it is only thanks to the skills of the man that the prize – the girl – was finally won. The woman has no say in this, she surrenders.

This is the game that has been played since society evolved. Problem: whether we like it or not, feminism has changed the rules in society. Women are not defenseless anymore, they are no longer just damsels in distress and the role of men has been shrunk, with an insane amount of psychological weaknesses for the poor fellows.

Now my question is this: if the general rules in male/female relationships have changed, how has this change affected the rules of attraction and flirting? I know some guys who are mainly interested in the hunt, and they are also the ones who deep inside still don’t think that a woman should do much more than stay at home and raise children. Or if nothing that fundamentalist, at least they still view women as damsels in distress up to some point.

I would like to know whether all of these lads who run away in front of the chance of a serious relationship actually run because they are peter-pans, or pricks, or playboys and how many run because they are too insecure to take a step further, if they were rendered insecure by all the power women have gained and flaunt in front of everyone, at least in this field.

What would happen if us damsels were ready to show that we actually are interested in them? Would they lose interest, as we have been always told, or would it help them to man up a little?

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